Last Tuesday, I was venting to my neighbor about how exhausted I was after parent conferences. She looked at me with this blank expression and said, "But you only work until 3:30, right?"

Ay, dios mio. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

That's when it hit me. Again. We need friends who get it. Friends who understand that teaching isn't a job, it's a calling that follows us home, keeps us up at night, and makes us spend our own money on supplies without thinking twice.

The Loneliness of Being Misunderstood

Teaching can be incredibly isolating, and not just because we're surrounded by nine-year-olds all day. It's because most people outside education don't understand what we actually do.

They think we have summers off (hello, professional development and classroom prep). They assume we leave work at work (meanwhile, little Sofia's reading struggles are keeping us awake). They believe we chose an "easy" career (if by easy they mean emotionally, physically, and mentally demanding, then sure).

My husband Carlos tries to be supportive, pero he still asks why I'm grading papers on Sunday morning. "Can't you just give them all A's?" he jokes. Sweet man, but he doesn't get it.

Where to Find Your People

Your School Building

This seems obvious, but hear me out. Not every colleague becomes a friend, and that's okay. Look for the teachers who stay a little late to help struggling students. The ones who share supplies without being asked. The ones who check on you during a tough day.

My friend Carmen teaches second grade down the hall. We've been through three principals, two curriculum changes, and countless difficult days together. She's the one who brings me coffee when she sees I'm overwhelmed and never judges me for crying in the supply closet.

Professional Learning Communities

I used to think PLCs were just another meeting to endure. Then I joined one focused on math intervention, and everything changed. These teachers weren't just talking about standards and data. They were sharing their hearts, their failures, their breakthroughs.

We started meeting for dinner after our official sessions. Now we text each other pictures of student work that makes us proud and screenshots of emails that make us want to quit.

Online Communities (But Choose Wisely)

Social media can be a blessing or a curse for teachers. Skip the groups where people just complain or try to one-up each other with their Pinterest-perfect classrooms. Look for communities where teachers share real struggles and practical solutions.

I found an amazing group of Florida teachers who truly understand the unique challenges we face. They celebrate my wins and offer genuine support during tough times. We've never met in person, but they know my heart.

Red Flags in Teacher Friendships

Not all teacher friendships are healthy. Watch out for colleagues who:

Constantly complain without seeking solutions. We all need to vent, but some people drain your energy without giving anything back. I learned this the hard way with a former teammate who turned every conversation into a complaint session.

Judge your teaching methods. Real teacher friends might offer suggestions, but they don't make you feel inadequate for doing things differently.

Share confidential information about students or families. If they gossip about others, they'll gossip about you too.

Only contact you when they need something. Friendship isn't a one-way supply exchange.

Building Deeper Connections

Be vulnerable first. Share your real struggles, not just the highlight reel. When I admitted to my grade-level team that I was struggling with classroom management, it opened the door for honest conversations that made us all better teachers.

Celebrate each other's wins. When my colleague Roberto got Teacher of the Month, I made sure everyone knew how well-deserved it was. When you genuinely celebrate others, they'll celebrate you too.

Make time outside of school. Some of my strongest teacher friendships developed over weekend coffee dates or summer barbecues. When you see each other as whole people, not just coworkers, the friendship deepens.

Remember they have lives too. Don't take it personally if someone can't text back immediately or needs to skip happy hour. We're all juggling a million things.

When Non-Teacher Friends Don't Get It

You don't have to dump all your non-teacher friends, but you might need to adjust your expectations. My college roommate will never understand why I spend my own money on classroom supplies, but she's amazing at helping me laugh about other parts of life.

Set boundaries about work talk. If someone consistently dismisses your challenges, save those conversations for your teacher friends. You deserve to have your experiences validated.

The Gift of Being Understood

There's something magical about being with people who understand why you tear up at graduation, why you worry about your students over winter break, and why you'd rather spend Saturday at the teacher store than the mall.

These friendships sustain us through the hard days and make the victories even sweeter. When little Marcus (my student, not my son) finally mastered long division after weeks of struggle, my teacher friends understood why I was texting them at 8 PM with pure joy.

Your Assignment This Week

Reach out to one colleague who seems like they might "get it." Invite them for coffee, offer to share a resource, or simply ask how their day really went. Not the polite hallway version, but the real version.

Building teacher friendships takes time and intention, but it's worth every effort. We're in this beautiful, challenging, exhausting profession together. We might as well support each other along the way.

Who in your building could use a friend today? Sometimes the teacher who seems to have it all together is the one struggling the most. Be the colleague you needed during your hardest day.

We're stronger together, mija. Always.